Hi People!!!!!
Welcome to your first normal installment of the newsletter for 2021! First of all, thank you very much to everyone who participated in last week’s reader survey. Your insights were very kind and helpful, and I am beyond excited to use them to bring you the best content possible. (If you haven’t taken the survey yet or there’s just something you’d like to add, you can do so here.) Speaking of the survey, this week’s topic actually came from one of your suggestions to check out the Instagram stories of Amy Smilovic, the founder and creative director of Tibi, where she breaks down how to achieve great style. Because I am incredibly generous, I am going to summarize the key points of all 52 of her story highlights for you and share where our philosophies do and do not align. You’re welcome.
Amy Smilovic’s rules for style
Finding your look
First and foremost, it is important to understand that what makes these stories/lessons so compelling is that Amy has a hyper-focused picture of her style, which she describes as “creative pragmatist.” A creative pragmatist is driven by both aesthetics and functionality and would never do one without the other. An outfit that is solely creative (think Moira Rose) is too over the top, but one that is too functional will leave you feeling like a bland stock image. Every outfit (and I would argue every article of clothing) must be a balance of both. To me, creative pragmatism is less so a style than a design philosophy for excellent ready-to-wear brands like Tibi. Creativity can go in a million different directions style wise, and pragmatism means different things to different people—what is functional for me will probably not be function for the Queen of England. But when brands master both these characteristics for their target audience, it is style as a form of art.
I find that Amy’s style really takes shape when she gets into her adjectives, which is also how she recommends other people find their own unique style. Your adjectives are the descriptors that define you and your style over time. They remain relatively constant, and they’re not impacted by the trends of the day. Instead, they are your lens for deciding which trends are right for you and a guide for how to style them so that you still feel like yourself. Amy’s top three are chill, modern, and classic. These are the elements that will be present in every outfit in order for her to feel like herself. If one is missing, the outfit might still look good to an outsider, but she won’t feel completely confident in it. She also describes her style as effortless, urban, confident, and luxurious, so those elements will also come into play, but chill, modern, and classic (CMC as she abbreviates it) are the core.
I would describe my style as fun, colorful, classic, chill, maximalist, and modern, but when I scroll through my endless stream of mirror selfies, the big three are chill, classic, and fun. I like relaxed and sporty styles mixed with preppy blazers, all in clashing prints with the jewels piled high. I like a frilly top with a casual pair of jeans and a sleek boot. But I know that I would absolutely not feel like myself if I dressed head to toe in any one of those elements. My style lies in the combination of them all.
You, on the other hand, might not be chill or classic or modern or fun at all. And that is perfectly okay! The point is to collect your own set of adjectives that you can use as the North Star of your style. I know many people simply have no clue what their style is and will shrug their shoulders in defeat when asked to describe it. If this is you, it’s time to get your butt on Pinterest and figure it out!!! Amy and I both advise you to follow the two simple steps below:
Gather up some images of outfits you are drawn to and people whose style you admire (bonus if you’ve admired their style for a long period of time). If you have pictures of a time when you felt like you really nailed your style, add those too. I personally believe your clothing style is often reflected in your taste in home decor and art, so compiling these on your inspiration board might also be helpful.
Now describe what you like about the images and try to make connections between them using adjectives, not nouns—nouns are likely trends. The ones that keep coming up the most frequently will be your style adjectives. Almost everything you buy should fit at least one of those adjectives so that each purchase is connected to your style and your sense of self. Over time, your style will be refined to that clear perspective.
Note: If you find yourself picking adjectives that could also be used as costumes, try to dig a little deeper. We have been trained that style words are caricatures like boho, preppy, or rocker, but these are not styles, they are costumes. Like Amy, you might appreciate the effortlessness of the boho stereotype or, like me, the sporty and classic aspects of preppy figures, or maybe all three of those words ring true for you. That is the beauty of style. It expresses the multitudes within you. Take Sex and the City for example. Carrie undoubtedly has the best style on the show, yet it is by far the hardest to describe. Charlotte’s is preppy, Miranda’s is corporate, Samantha’s is sexy, but Carrie’s style would be impossible to sum up in one word like that. That is the level of distinction we’re going for.
Building your wardrobe
So now you know how to find those descriptors that come together to perfectly build your style. Your wardrobe, unfortunately, is a whole other beast. Even if you know what you want your style to be, it doesn’t always turn out as you envisioned. Because of the sheer amount of stuff that is marketed at us everyday, it can be hard to make wise purchase decisions that actually exhibit your taste and style. To make it even worse, there are a plethora of “10 Items Every Woman Needs In Her Closet” articles out there trying to sell you some universal ideal of style. Ignore all of that garbage and listen to Amy whose method for building a wardrobe might be the best idea I’ve ever heard. According to her, everything in your closet should fall into one of three categories:
WOFs - Without Fails
These are the go-to items in your closet. They work every single time and always make you feel more like yourself. If your wardrobe is a house, the WOFs are the foundation, walls, and roof. They quickly define your style from the outside, but also protect and support you during style exploration if the foundation is solid. According to Amy, these should be items that are basic enough to go with everything in your closet, but strong and interesting enough to stand on their own. They should perfectly fit your style adjectives, and almost everything you buy should fit right in with them seamlessly.
Amy’s WOFs are a full chill pant, a skimpy tank, an oversized blazer, a slip dress, a wrap skirt, a men’s style trouser, a full skirt, a huge sweater, and a shrunken sweater, all in neutral colors with interesting details. (Tibi specializes in these perfectly unbasic basics.) Here’s where it gets tricky. I don’t think your WOFs need to be basics in the traditional sense, hence why you should ignore the clickbait article prescribing you a generic capsule wardrobe. Mine, for example, would include my plaid blazer, my camo shorts, my striped t-shirts, and my tiger print bag, along with the more typical closet staples like a great pair of jeans and a white button down. Your WOFs will be completely unique to you and your style. Just like building a house, laying the foundation is the most difficult part, but it is worth the investment. (Is that right? I know nothing about construction.) It might take some time to find those pieces you really feel at home in, but when you do, make sure you invest in high quality versions you can wear on repeat forever.
I&Os - Ins and Outs
I&Os are the items of the moment, the trends that mark the passage of time. If you love fashion as much as I do, you likely love the newness each season brings, but it’s important to understand the role these pieces play in the greater picture of your style. In the house of your wardrobe, they’re the furniture. You want them to be sturdy enough to last a few seasons, but you know you’ll redecorate every once in a while. That being said, you can’t afford to buy a whole new house (WOFs) every time you change the couch. Your I&Os should fit right in with your WOFs and adhere to your style adjectives. NOT EVERY TREND WILL FIT YOUR STYLE! (And trendy is not a style, it’s a costume.) This is how we end up with piles and piles of junk in our closet that we never wear. We get swept up into what’s new each season without bothering to check if it fits into what we already have, leading us to buy even more stuff to wear with the new item. Understanding which I&Os are right for you will make a huge difference in whether you are buying “style or just stuff, ” as Amy would say.
HtHs - Have to Haves
Your HtHs are the items you just fell head over heels in love with for reasons you might not even be able to explain. In your style home, the HtHs are the art, the picture frames, and the odd little knick knacks you’ve collected over time. Out of context, someone might not have pegged them as being your style. They might not fit style adjectives, but when paired with your WOFs, you still retain your unique look. Cost per wear is probably awful, but you will hang on to these treasures for dear life purely out of love. There aren’t too many rules with this category, just remember that these purchases should make up a very small percentage of your wardrobe, and when you want to actually wear them, your safest pairing is one of your tried and true WOFs.
Building an outfit
Even if you have a wardrobe perfectly tailored to your style, each individual outfit still requires a balance of your style elements in order to feel like you. Yes, Amy’s top three adjectives are chill, modern, and classic, but she wouldn’t be caught dead in an outfit that only exemplified one of those traits, just as I would feel too kitschy in a head-to-toe fun outfit. Like I explained in my newsletter about the art of layering, the best outfits require contrast and balance of your different style adjectives. Some of Amy’s stories include the evolution of an outfit as she gets dressed, how she switches out elements until it strikes the right balance of chill, modern, and classic. I find I do this intuitively as I get dressed, but for those of you who struggle to put together a look that feels like you, I think it is extremely helpful to see the logic that goes behind each look, adding and taking away until the style scales are perfectly balanced.
Making your own rules
Outside of these more general guidelines, Amy’s stories are dedicated to rules of thumb she uses to achieve her look like little outfit math equations. “One, ton, none” dictates that when it comes to color, you should either stick to one, go all neutral with none, or layer on a ton. “Three is complete” advises that more than three standout elements in an outfit will make you feel out of balance. “Slim, big, skin” is the rule of proper proportions... the list goes on. At first this sort of thing appeals to me because I am always drawn to seemingly complicated and abstract things that can be boiled down into something as simple as two plus two. But as soon as I get that type of structure I always resent it, as I’m sure I would if I tried to follow Amy’s outfit rules. This make sense of course because these tips and tricks are a means for achieving Amy’s style, not mine. I prefer to throw caution to the wind when it comes to getting dressed, but I think Amy’s system of guidance, not her rules specifically, would be helpful for creating your own guardrails if you struggle to figure out exactly what makes an outfit sing for you. As you get dressed, I encourage you to slow down and notice the patterns of what you think looks good together, what combinations you can rely on to convey your style, your go-to tweaks for an outfit that isn’t quite right yet. Make note of them, test them out, and use them to refine your look until it becomes effortless for you.
What I love so much about Amy’s philosophy is not so much her style, though it is fabulous, but more the way she breaks fashion and style into digestible chunks, making it less intimidating to experiment and find your unique look. I hope what I’ve laid out here will be useful for you to do the same. I’m planning to use this system to create a style book of sorts for my sister to help her know what to shop for and pair together based on her individual style, and I’d be happy to do one for any of you! HMU!!!!!!
Your questions
Thank you so much to everyone who submitted questions to the form on last week’s newsletter. From here on out, I will make my way down the list, answering one or two each week depending on the length of the newsletter and appropriate answer.
“how do you stay updated on trends? magazines? instagram explore page? help me my clothes suck <3”
As far as trends go, the key is being able to zoom out and notice the bigger patterns. I personally like to try to observe them myself by studying various designer shows each season on Vogue Runway and finding the links between them. I realize most people do not care enough to do this though, so publications that publish roundups of trends each season like Vogue, WhoWhatWear, Refinery29, NET-A-PORTER, etc. (and this newsletter soon!) are really helpful. However, if you’re unhappy with your clothes, I suspect your bigger problem is focusing too much on the trends and not enough on your own unique sense of style, in which case see above. Once you have the foundation of your style laid out, you will understand that the trends are not nearly as important as you once thought.
“What is your sun, moon, and rising?”
My sun and moon are both in Aquarius, and my rising sign is in Taurus. I have no idea what this means about me, so if you do please let me know.
My question for you
I thought it might be fun to ask you a question to discuss each week in the comments? Is this corny? Whatever, I must know how you feel about the SATC reunion sans Samantha Jones. Please let me know, it is a matter of life or death.
Recs of the week
Get a Monk Manual - Mine just came in two days ago, but I am quite confident this planner will change my life. (Yes, I have said that about other planners, but I really mean it this time!!!!)
Subscribe to Roxane Gay’s newsletter The Audacity - Okay, so there has only been one published so far, but it’s Roxane Gay so... duh.
Read Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close - I loved this joint memoir between two best friends for finally giving platonic friendship the language and credit it deserves.
Follow @kule_closet on Instagram - If stripe tees are one of your WOFs like me, you need to know about the ongoing sample sale from Kule.
Thanks for sticking around for this very long and theoretical edition of the Hi People!!!!! Newsletter. I appreciate you being on this journey with me more than you can possibly know. As always, if you want to chat about fashion or life in general, I’m here via email, DM, comment, question form submission, etc. I am so so so excited to do 2021 with all of you!!!!!!!!
Cheers,
Maddy
Samantha was truly the only sex positive character on the show so I really don't know how they're going to make it work. I guess it'll just be "The City." I wish they would just let it rest! A full series and two movies??? What's left???? Also, The Carrie Diaries deserved more!
I’ll take a visit with C, C & M however I can get it but Samantha was such a big, powerhouse presence it will definitely be missing some energy and sparkle. It will be interesting to see if they talk about her as if she’s just not in NYC but still a part of their foursome.