Hi People!!!!!
It’s been a while. I feel like I’ve started each newsletter I’ve sporadically published over the last six months this way. This hiatus was different though. I haven’t even attempted to write since my last dispatch back in August. I’ve just been feeling a little bit weird since then. Weird about my clothes, about my life, about myself, just weird. What started out as fascination, admiration, and inspiration from seeing all of the fabulously unique people on the streets of New York quickly turned to comparison, jealousy, and anxiety. And then I got frustrated that I was feeling these things instead of the excitement and happiness I “should” be feeling. Everything “should” be falling right into place. It seems silly to say I didn’t realize just how big of a life change I was making, but it really didn’t set in until the whirlwind of newness dissipated, the new job, the new city, new apartment, new routine. That’s not to say I regret making these changes. I love my new job, and I love New York. I love the pace and the people and the noise and the random little things you see on the streets each day. But the little girl—no, the evil bitch inside me who never believes I’m good enough at anything was quick to point out all the ways I was failing at New York. Friends walking arm and arm down the street made me smile, and then she reminded me that I only have my dog to walk the streets with. (She’s very quick to disregard my boyfriend or my roommates that contradict her negative little narrative.) When I saw outfits so good I wanted to burn them into my memory to recreate, she pointed out that my closet could never come close. (She’s very uncreative in there.) And when I sat down to write, she was more present than ever. Sitting in silence with my thoughts meant I’d have to confront her, and I wasn’t confident enough yet that the things she whispered when my mind wandered weren’t true.
This little bitch has been with me for a very long time, for as long as I remember, and I won’t claim to have even come close to conquering her. But I think it took a big exciting event like landing a dream job and moving across the country to a dream city, moments I’ve wanted so badly for so much of my life, to realize that this inner voice is not dependent on outside circumstances. I assumed that when I had the job and the boyfriend and lived in a big, fun city, she would leave me the fuck alone already. If you’ve ever dealt with anxiety you know that this isn’t true. You have to meet it wherever you are in life and stop running away from your thoughts in order for them to ever get more bearable. So I stopped ignoring my therapist, started journaling, and I’m trying to remind myself why I love fashion and creativity and writing this newsletter, even when the negative voice in my head tells me it’s not worth it or not good enough or just too hard. I promise I won’t start every newsletter with a rant on my anxiety, but just know that writing this newsletter, as silly as it may be at times, is a huge tool for me in facing it head on and refusing to let it infringe on what is, when I really think about it, the happiest I’ve ever been. So thank you for reading, I hope it can help one of you too. Now let’s talk about some fashion already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My FW21 Mood Board
When I started this week’s newsletter I had every intention of giving a fall trend report similar to the ones I created from seasons past, but I quickly realized I did not want to do that at all. I think I’m partly just exhausted from all the trend discourse on TikTok and partly craving a refreshed focus on my own personal style after the slide from inspiration to comparison I described above. I still looked back through a ton of the FW21 shows, but instead of trying to find commonalities among them, I just saved whichever photos I liked to my camera roll without worrying too much about why they appealed to me. After the designer shows, I turned to my Instagram saved folder to see what has jumped out at me while scrolling lately, and I screenshotted those too. I saved alllllll of these pictures to a new Pinterest board (highly recommend opening it for a visual reference to what I’m about to describe) and continued building it out from there just by scrolling through recommended pins. I’m not sure exactly when I got so analytical and calculating about my style and my outfits (though I suspect it may be from getting a little too invested in Amy Smilovic’s Instagram stories), but it felt refreshing to just go with my gut and pin whatever caught my eye, regardless of whether it was cool or trendy or whatever other restrictive categories people (myself included) apply to style.
Despite the lack of planning or refinement, some common themes still emerged. Through the mix of runway looks, street style shots, and vintage photos from ski resorts, threads of classic, cozy, retro, sporty, and western style tie all of it together into a lovely maximalist package. Maybe it won’t be apparent to anyone else who looks through this hodgepodge, but to me the board feels like a movie where the setting is a New Mexico ski resort in the ‘70s or ‘80s and the characters are glamorous businesswomen of Hollywood who are there for girls trip. And maybe there’s a mystery murder. Or a missing diamond necklace. It feels a little bit bizarre to imagine a scenario completely separate from my life (and from reality) to inspire my style, but it’s really just another way to visualize and understand it. I started thinking about what these women might wear to a dinner party or the breakfast buffet or on a day trip to a museum and how they would blend all the aesthetics of their environment (retro period, sporty activities, old money après ski attire, southwestern locale) into each of these occasions. I’m not a screenwriter so the plot basically stops at imagining different outings for them to go on, whether they make sense in this context or not, but it inspired me to organize my moodboard for the occasions of my own life. My routine basically breaks down into walking my dog, going to get coffee and/or breakfast, taking workout classes, going into the office (finally!), running various errands, having dinner with my friends, and going out to parties and bars. To correspond with the vibes of these occasions, I created sections on my Pinterest board for “breakfast & dog walks,” “office & errands,” and “dinners & parties.” The sections don’t fully align with the board because every outfit can’t be categorized that way (especially the runway looks which aren’t really made for real life) and because I don’t entirely understand how this feature works on Pinterest and couldn’t figure out how to edit the sections later on. But you get the gist. I think it’s important to bridge this gap between your inspiration and the actual occasions of your life. Of course I wouldn’t necessarily wear each of these exact outfits to their respective event, but it’s helpful to see how my style translates over different degrees of formality. I’m also looking forward to being able to click right in to one of these categories to quickly get an outfit idea when I’m stumped on what to wear. If your Pinterest board is filled with only the glitzy red carpet images or just the cozy errand-running looks, it may be a good sign to actively broaden your search so that you don’t get stuck when it’s time to get dressed or shop for those other facets of your actual life. I’m not sure how you’ve managed to read this paragraph without referencing the moodboard because I sound a little insane without the visual, but I’m including some examples from each occasion section below.
My next natural thought was to start making a list of all the items that pop up all over this moodboard that I need to buy to complete my fall/winter style vision, but I’m trying to break that habit. While my goal is to get back in touch with myself and go with my style gut and all that stuff, shopping is the arena where I do need to be analytical because A) I care about the environment and I’m tryingggg to consume less B) I have very little extra money to spend on clothes and C) My New York City bedroom does not have much more closet space to spare. So instead of shopping for the individual items of the outfits I admire, I’m training my brain to figure out what elements each one brings to the look. A loafer makes everything more laidback yet classic, a cow print jacket brings that western feel I’ve been craving lately, a blazer adds some refinement to an otherwise chaotic ensemble. When you recognize what’s being added to the outfit with that item you can better figure out which styles in your own closet represent those elements. I don’t have a cow print jacket, but I do have a suede jacket with fringe that feels similarly western. I don’t have hot pink velvet loafers, but I do have loafers embellished with red hearts that bring the same blend of classic and quirky. I don’t have a million different patterned sweaters for each day of the winter, but I do have a few printed scarves that I can mix and match with my solid ones to bring more color and texture into an outfit. Obviously I’ll still end up doing some shopping throughout the season, but breaking down my style inspiration this way helps me to see what I’ll really wear and what I probably have a substitute for in my closet.
So with alllllllll of that inspiration laid out so beautifully on Pinterest and knowing that putting on a cute ass outfit each and every morning makes me feel infinitely better about life and that sharing those outfits on the internet with all of you multiplies that effect from the little shots of social media dopamine, I’m going to challenge myself to post my outfit each and every day for the next 30 days. Please come to the comments and yell at me if I don’t stick with it. I haven’t decided if it’s going to be on Instagram or TikTok or some combo of the two yet so follow me on both please and thank you.
A little change of plans
So, in an effort to make a weekly newsletter more feasible for me, I’m going to change up the format a little bit. Every other week will be lengthier pieces like this one and my previous newsletters, and in between will be less writing, more lists, and more pictures. Think shopping recommendations, outfit inspiration pictures, my usual recs of the week, etc. I’m thinking of calling them miniletters. Thoughts? I have lots of ideas for these fun little chunks, so get excited :))))))
Question of the week
What’s your fall style inspiration? How would you describe it in imaginary movie form? What outfits do you want to recreate? Feel free to include links to Pinterest boards!
If you have a question you’d like me to answer in an upcoming newsletter, submit it below! Depending on the length of my response I’ll include it in a full-length newsletter or as a section in a miniletter. Feel free to submit name ideas for those in-between postings too. I’m not sold on miniletter, although it does sound kinda cute…
That’s all for this week! Thank you for subscribing and thank you for your patience. I’m so excited for us to hang out more often. As always, feel free to reply with your thoughts and feelings and questions and concerns. SEE U NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers,
Maddy
Love the Pinterest pics and how they are inspiring you to see your items anew!
I hope since it’s been awhile that you wrote this you’ve taken “that little bitch” by the hair and stomped on her. 😈 Be your confident beautiful self. Remember it’s the girl who makes the clothes not the clothes that make the girl. I hope that’s not a no no in the fashion world.🤭 Love you!😘